Friday, January 16, 2009

An ode which is not quite an ode for a person

(Note: This is a post that will show me at my most vulnerable. It shows what my soul is going through at the moment. However, I hope my readers will not link the person I am talking about to a certain someone. The happenings in the past few days will certainly make you think that it is about that person when it actually might not. All I ask from my readers is an open mind when reading this post because I feel that only here will I be able to express myself fully without having to think about consequences.)

It was the hardest thing I had to do, developing an open mind between you and me
I was confused and hurt about all the things I heard and said
I hated the assumptions - whether by myself or by other people..I hated it
I hated how I wasn't being myself when I knew that only by doing that will I be sane..that was so foolish of me
You were there for me since the beginning as you are right now at this moment
You were with me at my darkest hours
You were with me when I went through the craziest stage of my life
You were with me when I was happy
You were always with me and you still are
Maybe that's why people find it hard to believe that after all that we've been through, you and I are still there for each other
But isn't that what friends are for?
Something that I still have to get used to
But lately it has been becoming easier
You are starting to sort out your things and I mine
And right now all I can hope for you is that you keep having a balance in your life - don't ever lose that balance because it will be hard to get back
I also hope that I can find this same balance that you are on your way to finding
No amount of 'thank yous' will do justice to you
You have opened my eyes to the world around me and my heart to the people I love
You made me rediscover my soul which was in deep need of attention and care
That is something that cannot be repaid in any form possible
All I can hope is that the ties between us are stronger than ever
And hope that nothing will set us apart
Thanks for your shoulders
Thanks for your sleeves
Thanks for making me smile in sad and frustrating times
Thanks for the security that only you can provide me
Thanks for standing up for me and protecting me through the two events that happened recently
Thanks for being patient with me
Thanks for just being there for me whenever I needed you
I'm sorry for all the hurtful things I said to you
It was never meant to hurt you
It was only a means of letting my frustrations out
The sad part is that I took it out on you
I'm so sorry..
I know you are also trying
I appreciate it
Remember that I am always here for you no matter what

All I need is time
And you have given me that


4 comments: ~ cik sara.. said...

vanessa..dats such a sweet n touching entry..hmm love is only for a moment but friends are foreva rite..u n dat person are d only ppl who really know whats happening..others hve no rite to judge but cant help making assumption..wateva it is, stay focus..u go girl!! =)

my name is KARL said...


luv it!!

i think dat YOU refers to... ur MUM??????hehe... juz guessing! of coz u re a good girl rite...

but sometimes

good girl gone bad - who is d person>??


Damnik said...

i don't noe who dat person is,
but next time just bitch at those who annoys you.. heheh.. u got the word just throw it at them.. ASsHorSe!! kan senang.. hahahahha

adah uchida said...

damnik..u shudn't teach pple to bitch others dear..nessa,ignore wat d people said..if d pple closer to u,pay attention..if not,dun give d pple a chance to ruin u..jz stay strong..=)